“Oh what a beautiful Morning”

IMG_1531I hear that accidents happen in 3’s. I don’t know if this is a proven fact, but I have found myself very fortunate to only be rear ended 2 times in the past couple of months.

Today started like any other day. I woke up, ate a waffle (it was an eggo, sorry, I am not fancy) and drank some coffee all before jumping in the shower and getting ready for work.

The day was beautiful, the sky was blue, the grass was and still is green. I saw today as a day of production, a day where I would dream, a day where I would see God move in amazing ways. I still see that this is something that God is going to do today. He is still going to use me, the day is still beautiful, my dreams are still alive, and HE always works and moves in amazing ways.

Back to my morning. as I walked out the door with a skip in my step, I walked toward my old but energetic car named “Carole” she is a white Toyota Corolla, and even through the slew of accidents I have been in these past couple of months (again, both accidents I was stopped at a red-light and were not my fault and were unpreventable) she has stayed pure and without blemish.

This was a  great day, a beautiful day. As I opened the door, I realized that things seemed to be out of place, a note pad and pair of shoes on my drivers seat, a bag that was once filled with items that would be donated to Goodwill emptied on my passenger floor. As I continued to look around I noticed change drawers pulled from their holsters, and a pile of gift cards missing from their usual location in the middle consul.

Today my cluster of 3 was completed, Carole lost her innocence, and I realized that no matter how much control I think I have in my life, we are all in this journey together.

It could be easy for me to be angry about this, or want to chase whoever did this down the streets of Redding. I would be justified in holding a grudge, or keeping this from allowing me to move forward.

This life is not my own, and when dealing with frustrating moments, I must again remember that I am not in control. I don’t know what this person was going through, or what struggles they have faced. Likely there was a need that was not being met, and even though it is frustrating to have things taken from me, I know that God can and will use all things for good.

I can sit here worrying and wondering how God will come through, or I can look back and see that God is good and HE always comes through. I can sit and dwell in the negative, or I can look in anticipation of what God is going to do through this situation.

When Jesus walked on water, and Peter ran out to Him, it wasn’t until Peter took his eyes off of Jesus that He began to sink. When life happens, are we going to keep our eyes on the KING, or are we going to be distracted by what happens in our life, pulling us away from Jesus, pulling us into the depths of the sea.

I am not writing this post to look for pity, but instead writing this post because I know that God is good, and that in moving forward I want to keep my eyes on the creator.

As the great Peter Panning (From Hook, not The Bible) once said. “To live will be an awfully great adventure.”

God bless you all!

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Blame the muscle relaxer :) 

Updates on my life: 
It’s been a few weeks since I last posted, and to be completely honest, I don’t really have a great excuse for that. 
God has been showing me so much these past few weeks, and I haven’t really known where to start writing. I am going to focus on two things in this post. 1st I want to update those not living day to day life with me on what is going on. 2nd I want to share what God is teaching me right now, and how he is working on me in the little things. 


First things first. Life update. 
This past month has been insane. Insane in that I feel like God is doing more in me and through me than I could have expected. This past month has also been crazy that I have been rear ended twice in a 5 day period, both in different cars, and am just trying to make it through this thing called life. 
I am going to blame any inconsistencies in my writing on the muscle relaxers that are helping me get through the pain that is currently residing in my lower back, even though I am trying my hardest to take them as little as possible. 
Following up a week of being rear ended twice, both while stopped at red lights, I was also brought to a place of humility as my two remaining pairs of jeans ripped one day after another. 
I realize that ripped jeans aren’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but when you are on a ministry budget, trying to pay off student loans, all while trying to eat healthier than top ramen for most meals, it is not going to go down as a highlight of this past month. 
I always remember looking at adults as having it all together, and now as an almost 29 year old, I am wondering when that happens. Praise the Lord for Old Navy and their amazing clearance sales they were having as I ran to the mall 15 minutes before my ministry team showed up last Wednesday night. (Hallelujah) 
As life has tossed me lemons, and more lemons, I have wondered when I was going to get some lemonade. 
Second: What God is showing me. 
God is showing me that HE is faithful. Sure my back is in pain, and I had to buy some clothes that were not in my budget at all, I am seeing how God is showing me to be more dependent on HIM. 
It’s a crazy thought, because God has been showing me that for 2 years now, and I keep thinking there is nothing else I can give up, but He is showing me there is so much more that I am trying to hold on to. 
God is showing me that even the little things I am trying to hold on to are not my own. He is showing me that my finances are not my own, which includes my debt. 
Student loans have overwhelmed me for the past 4 years, always wondering how I will ever get them paid off. I spent a day last month with God talking to Him about my finances and giving Him all that I make, that my finances will be used for His kingdom, and that I will seek Him in what I do with it. As I spent this day with Him, i began that these past 4 years of worry, which to be honest, is still there a bit, working on giving the worry up, is honestly done in waste. 
God used Simpson to bring me to Redding, which means, He used those loans to get me to Redding. I am in no way advocating large amounts of debt, and I am in no way encouraging anyone to take out large amounts of debt, but I know that God used this to get me to a place of dependence on HIM and He is in control of these loans. 
It stresses me out knowing that I have to pay half of what I make each month to loan companies, but I also know that in my 29ish years of living, He has taken care of me each and every day. 
God is showing me that I need to ask HIM for my wants and needs, that I need to converse with Him daily about my struggles, that this pain I am walking through, it’s nothing to HIM and that even this He has control over. He is showing me that He is my GOD, and that HE is so much greater that I can ever Imagine. 
I am a work in progress, and this post, is messy with bad grammar and punctuation, but I feel like that represents my life right now, not a lot of punctuation, some interesting grammar, and a dependence on GOD to get me through the day. 

I realize this post is not supper happy or encouraging, but I want to be real, God has given me a passion to share my heart, and I am realizing that includes the mess. I am just so thankful that I have HIM walking in front of me, with HIS hand holding my hand letting me know its all going to be okay.